Mert Antal
Istanbul… No matter how chaotic, cruel and unbearable it gets sometimes, my attachment towards this enchanting city never diminishes. Because it’s a city where different lifestyles, identities, religions, and architectures inevitably mingle with each other. There is a different atmosphere existing in each neighborhood with their authentic values. The city has utterly dark sides as well. It contains agitating life stories of people struck with poverty, people who are marginalized, people who feel insecure and try to survive each day. These are the special yet painful monologues I have in my mind whenever I go outside and confront with staggering chaos of differences. I have a special relationship with Istanbul that has never been extinguished. We always interacted with each other surreally and shared our joys, anxieties with each other. Yet, this unique and active relationship has become horrifyingly silent after what both of us have witnessed.
While I’m writing this piece millions of people break their fast for the month of Ramadan (oruç açmak in Turkish) without being able to gather together and revive the sense of exuberance, solidarity, compassion due to pandemic. The only sound one can hear nowadays in Istanbul is the chanting of drummers and the daily prayers sneaking through the city with the sound of Allâhü Akbar. Though not a Muslim, I used to get enthusiastic whenever people from different backgrounds, spaces of Istanbul gather together to share not only their foods but also their memories, ideas. Yet in this Ramadan month, I and the city of Istanbul share the unendurable sense of anxiety, restlessness, and insecurity that prevent us from sharing this collective enthusiasm. This is the first time we cannot retain the exhilarating relationship as we used to before. The streets, people, houses have never been this bleak and silent before. It’s a silence of hopelessness. If you’re a reader from outside of these soils you will probably assume that this dull atmosphere haunting Istanbul stems from the pandemic. Unfortunately, the sole cause is not pandemic. The city of variety has lost its authentic vibe because of what it encountered especially during the past months. Istanbul has resented and turned its back because of the injustices flowing through the city. It accumulated an unimaginable amount of pain since the beginning of this year. It faced the frightening torturings, arrests of hundreds of students who tried to use their constitutional rights and attempted to defend the autonomy of the universities after the unjust placement of the trustee rector. The city is furious because it saw the criminalization of the artworks and the rainbow flags.
The streets encountered the unparalleled violence inflicted by the police. They saw the students undemocratically handcuffed by the police and the screams ‘I can’t breathe’ reminding the appalling killing of George Floyd. The city of Istanbul is frustrated because it experienced the exasperation of billions of women and queer people gathering in the streets demonstrating their insecurity in these soils after the withdrawal from the Istanbul Convention that aimed to protect women and sexual minorities. Solely using their democratic rights and embracing each other to create a sense of security against a governmental system that subjugates them, billions of students, women, and queer people have faced vicious violence from the police. The city of Istanbul came across millions of police assigned by the government filling the streets to dampen the voice of the people who rebel against the unjust system and explicitly share their apprehensions about their lives and rights. Istanbul has unfortunately confronted how police arrested three Kurdish Trans women as they were leaving the women’s march on 6th March in a taxi by the police with shuddering violence because of their gender identity.
Squares have witnessed how the unconditional solidarity between women and queer people was interfered with and attempted to be interrupted by the police. They saw the struggle of the rainbow flags signifying resistance, liberation and how they were considered as threatening objects by the head members of the government. Istanbul has heard the despondent lamentations of workers who cannot continue to work because of the restrictions that only affect them while allowing privileged people to live as they wish. It has heard workers’ hopeless screams telling how they are exploited especially in the pandemic .Closed stores, the horrendous darkness of the city have inescapably affected the city that I used to praise for its diversity and jubilation.
Istanbul has never felt this overwhelmed before since the Gezi Protests. I cannot emanate any optimistic thoughts to Istanbul whenever I wake up as I used to. We do not have those hopeful and rejuvenating conversations anymore. Yet I understand Istanbul, it feels utterly resentful and furious for the ones who oppress the innocent people. But we also know that this discomfiting silence won’t prevail for a long time. We try to retain that glimpse of hope because without it there won’t be any existence. Under the seemingly permanent silence of Istanbul, there is that unmitigated hope which will always find a way to thrive. Millions of despondent people including me deep down know that this pseudo-dystopia won’t be tormenting people for a long time. There are resuscitating chantings and celebrations waiting to happen though who knows when. However, the sense of optimism and joy are not distant despite the current woeful atmosphere circulating this enchanting city.
As Emily Dickinson famously said once “Hope is the thing with feathers that perches in the soul and sings the tune without the words and never stops at all.’’ No matter what kind of restrictions, brutal events we experience, I’m concluding this piece with a sense of hope waiting to be stimulated for the future days to come. Both of us are conscious that nothing lasts forever and we will have astounding days and memories to experience in our relationship. Istanbul will regain its inimitable characteristics in the future and restart to house millions of people full of diversity. Because history shows that despite the conflicts and oppressions, the unallayed hope of humanity always triumphs . After all, it’s normal to feel apprehensive and vulnerable after what Istanbul and millions of people have witnessed. Nonetheless, one thing we need is to keep that hope inside ourselves, remain in solidarity, and have the audacity to fight for justice. Istanbul thinks in the same way, it might be stagnant for now, but it needs our hope and union to bring better days.
